I've never really seen it,
but it's nice to think about
perhaps the small space between
two front teeth, dark eyes,
skin that browns like a round
smooth nut in sun
the way I love to dance,
the way you used to
in my mind, I see you;
your black dance pumps
fly across worn wooden floors,
five cents a dance
for years you watched me from the hallway
like someone I'd met but could not place;
a stranger out of context
like someone I'd met but could not place;
a stranger out of context
who was it, dear, that gifted you
with the virus that cost you your life?
with the virus that cost you your life?
the real secret was not the child, it was the man
hundreds could not give you enough to love that away;
hundreds could not give you enough to love that away;
you paid the price at the end of a dark hallway,
your love for her presented at your weakest
when I was twelve I thought I saw you smile
from the Sacred Heart hung above
a pink chenille bedspread, your room
a light too bright for me to sleep in
although you waited;
I know she never saw you
with appetites as large as yours,
the uneasy comfort of a sad escape,
liquid rolling at the back of my throat,
my secret pilot light skewed, ignited
I know now why you stayed;
I wish now that she'd see you
your love for her presented at your weakest
when I was twelve I thought I saw you smile
from the Sacred Heart hung above
a pink chenille bedspread, your room
a light too bright for me to sleep in
although you waited;
I know she never saw you
with appetites as large as yours,
the uneasy comfort of a sad escape,
liquid rolling at the back of my throat,
my secret pilot light skewed, ignited
I know now why you stayed;
I wish now that she'd see you